flipping through all the photos... questions popping up like mushroom,

? why i am the pretty gal in the pic
? why i don't feel the someone i love like the one in my dream
? why i am still seeking approval from my dad
? why i am not married
? i could have the mummy in the pic
? i could have go wild when i was 10 yrs younger.
? i could have been the meanest lady in the office 5yrs ago and climb that ladder
? i could have lose those weight that now in this moment i m not proud of

Can this be true, a moment i look like million dollar confident... now i feel i dun have anything, anyone, any dream.

2months and i was all over the place.

I am glad to spend my 2 weeks in italy - a fresh breath of life into my routine. Spent some money, but i need it, need it badly for a dream since my childhood to tour Europe. :) i need to earn more to fulfill this dream, year and year again.

Then, a short trip to bali. rushed and humid, also, i like the plan and relax time to spend in Bali. The food is AWESOME, i dun think any euro country can beat asian food. Yea, i suffer on apitite, it all bread and bread in italy.

2 weeks ago, a business trip to Philippines. shopping heaven for me and the food was really good. I gain some weight in just a few days. Moreover, is business, i can afford not to walk all the time, just taxi.

My bf birthday, i spend some more... :( always hard to depart with my money.
anyway, Dad is leaving KL soon, i will lose a home! no where to go back to. came to think of it, my heart sink and cry.

My dream to build a home have to come soon, at least, i can keep my parents whenever they are back. How come Chee never realized why i bug about the future and a home. This is the 12 years, i am independantly by myself.

I was 1 week off from work and now 1 week after back to work....
Last week, it felt it been a month. Yea, a month! work is piling up like mad... and i was so mad with the calendar beeping from my email outlook.

Been a tough week and not even putting Pa in the picture.
Did some retail therapy - 5 pairs of new shoes - black, cream, brown, more brown... white.
I am still looking for a new desktop, watch and mobile phone... sometimes, i wonder, why i have to be so shopaholic when i have a little more to spare.

Anything interesting? i can't remember.
Anything strange? i dunno
Anything boring ? Oh yea ---> it's WORK!

I am unsure how to change the routine at work, but surely I need to try out something else.
Tomorrow will be 1st day at work after the new year, and there are so much to do for a start. I need help and I need to hire.

I think i want to change my diet regime. Less carbo for the days to come.
I think about updating this more often and at the same time change to a new account something that i can post some pix for free. :)
I think about updating and keep a log of things at work.
I m thinking of cutting down with money spent on things and generosity amount to be fix.
Thinking about having my own place, a new house.

.... there are so much to think... i need a wish list.